People-Watching

[Poop]

You know what my favorite activity is? Well, if you don’t know, I’ll tell you. It’s people-watching. What exactly is people-watching, you ask? It’s when you watch people, like at a grocery store or in a sports stadium. When you’re bored, you just space out and find someone whom you think it would be interesting to watch. Then, you just focus on that person for a couple minutes, a half hour, or however long it takes to entertain yourself.

Let’s say you’re at your little brother’s basketball game at the YMCA. They’re really young, so they’re all terrible and boring to watch, so you’ll have to find something else to tide over the boredom. Reading? No, reading is for nerds. Masturbating? No, not in front of the children. People-watching? Bingo.

Next, what you do is you look across the stands and look for someone interesting. Some factors you may want to take into consideration are: Is (s)he aesthetically pleasing? You don’t want to spend a bunch of time looking at someone ugly. Is s(he) doing something that would be fun to watch or is s(he) just reading and keeping to his/herself? You don’t want to watch someone who is twiddling their thumbs and staring at the floor.

Once you have selected your person-watchee, begin watching them. Look at where s(he) is, what team s(he) is cheering for, who did s(he) come with, is (s)he having a good time, etc.? Continue doing this until you feel like stopping or until the person goes away.

Let me tell you about one of my experiences with people-watching. I was at a grocery store once and I saw a lady. I decided to people-watch her. Who did she come here with? She’s got a couple of kids, both of them around 5ish. How old is she? Oh, about early 30’s, I’d say. Is she happy? Does she believe in God? Has she found true love? What kind of cereal is she going to buy? Count Chocula?! That’s my favorite! We made eye contact, so I looked away. I noticed that she was still looking at me, so I looked back at her.

“Are you people-watching me?” she asked, with a frown on her face.

“Ummm, no,” I said, but it was obvious that I was lying.

“What’s your name?” she demanded.

“Phil,” I replied.

“Phil?” she said.

“That’s my name. Don’t wear it out.” I said. Now, looking back, I realize that that wasn’t that funny a thing to say. However, I didn’t know that back then. I started laughing. Loudly. Obnoxiously. I’ve always found it annoying, and I still do find it annoying, when people laugh at their own jokes. Especially when they laugh like I was laughing at my own joke. Yet I continued laughing anyway. She didn’t like my joke. She let me know it.

“OWWW!!!!!! What the hell did you do that for!?” I yelled as I grabbed my crotch and fell to the floor and got into the fetal position. “Why did you kick my balls? That hurts!” I cried.

“Serves you right, you little people-watcher, you!” she yelled at me.

“Yeah!” said her older son.

“Yeah!” repeated her younger son, as the family walked off.

I learned something that day. When you people-watch, you learn to put yourself in other people’s shoes, and you learn to see things from their perspective. “How does that lesson follow from the story you just shared with us,” you ask? I don’t know. I guess it doesn’t. I guess I didn’t really learn anything that day. Whatever.

Fin.

[camelface]

lol, funny as hell when he goty kicked in the nuts.

In scary movie 3, aliens come to earth and their way of saying goodbye is by kicking people in the balls. lol.what a good stupid movie.

[Poop]

I'm glad you liked it.