Nice Ass

[|Y|]

Heh, it was pretty embarrassing when I started to get an erection. But no one wanted to read that.

Of course guys are scumbags, many have no falculties in their brains to know when advances are welcome or appropriate. I don't know how one can correct this idiocy, but playing the victim, I think, is not the place it should start.

Were I a woman I'd probably be a tease. Let some idiot make his advances, then crush his stupid ass by mocking his pathetic behavior. That's what most girls I know do (not through personal experience, just how I've observed them behave with the scumbags out there).

Males are very slow learners.

[Gonzo Joker]

Here is the secret to getting laid reguularly:

When you see a woman you find attractive, make eye contact and smile. If she returns the smile or looks interested, go talk to her, and make sure you show some sexual interest.

Some will turn out to be otherwise committed, lesbians, or otherwise not interested. But it will be impossible to find the ones who ARE interested in a good deep dicking without going through the numbers.

Will you occasionally run across some manhater who is offended by the fact you are trying to score some pussy? Sure you will, but the number of "no"s you hear is unimportant - it is the number of "yes"s that counts!!!

[Mike/R]

I doubt most people think their own bodies are beautiful. So when people stare at their bodies without showing emotional clues, they are more likely to attribute it to disgust than to admiration. But when people look at their bodies with admiration, showing this in expression, gesture, or even words, people still resent it.

In part, patriarchy explains this resentment. Patriarchy doesn't necessarily give all men power over women; in polygamous patriarchies it denies most men even egalitarian relations with women. But the sex-linked admiration of one man (who doesn't hold power) reminds people of the sex-linked desires of other men (who do hold power).

If we move from patriarchal hierarchies to gender-independent hierarchies, people's perceptions will change (with some lag time) and women will find such sex-linked admiration less threatening and men will find this sex-linked admiration more threatening. If we move from hierarchies to egalitarianism, people's perceptions will change (with similar lag time) and people will generally find such bodily admiration less threatening.

Of course we interpret women's cosmetic surgery in light of patriarchy. Men see it as an attempt to get more male attention; women see it as an attempt to get better male attention; etc. A woman getting implants doesn't get to express herself. People don't get any special insight into her character (as they might with certain clothing choices), but they simply reclassify her as 'the kind of woman who gets implants.'

I used to, on seeing any woman with large breasts, assume she had implants, assume she was superficial, self-destructive, and pleasure-obsessed, and avoid having anything to do with her. I later befriended various people, and their close friends included two women with rather large breasts, as well as others with more moderate-sized ones, and my close friends soon did as well. One of them wanted breast reductions. This showed me that (1) people's bodies vary more than we sometimes think. (2) people's reasons for cosmetic surgery need not be wrong at all. Mind you, our relationship centered on common interests, common hobbies, etc. not on breasts.

I used to, when walking places, get the 'nice ass' line from drivers coming from behind. I never knew what to think. So I managed disgust, pride, and resentment!

[Gonzo Joker]

I doubt most people think their own bodies are beautiful.

Really? I keep in really good shape, and I think my body is awesome!

I also think that women with great shapes that wear revealing clothes know their bodies are hot, and that's why they show them off.

Seriously, why paint your face and put on a tight, low-cut shirt, lowrise jeans and high heels unless you think you are hot and want to tease or turn guys on?

[Mike/R]

I have severe exercise-induced and allergy-induced asthma, and it gets in the way. On bad days I can hardly breath. On good days I can hike moderate distances (around 12 miles) or long ones (up to 26 miles), but the moderate distances will often and the long distances will always make me sore the next day. Even on good days I can no longer run very far or very fast. I'm trying to get back into shape but it will take patience, discipline, and other qualities I don't have. ;)

I don't have much body fat. It's concentrated around my belly which sticks out about an inch in front of my chest and my hip region. BMI 18 with a pot belly...

I have various moles on my sides and back. They don't grow, but they do stick out. They can get caught when putting shirts on and taking them off. I accidently got exposed to Vaccinia back in 2002 and spent some weeks very sick without insurance; during this time one mole on my collarbone got infected and kept bleeding. I had to cut it off; between its sensitivity, awkwardness, etc. this was very painful and difficult but healed nicely. I have considered cutting off some of the others.

Anyway, I find high heels a turn-off. I think unpainted faces are generally more attractive than painted ones, unadorned ears are often more attractive than adorned ones, etc.

[Kropotkitten]

1. Heterosexual women are not the only women with femme gender identities that conform with conventional standards of femininity.

2. The idea that lesbians are threatened by femininity or implants is another boring generalization about us...

3. Implants aren't sought out necessarily for sexual attention from every single man on the planet, nor does every person who likes tits [myself included] have the right to stare point blank at somebody's implants.

4. Lots of people get implants for work-related purposes [sex industry] or because they are made to feel like shit for not having big breasts. That doesn't mean they are all sluts who don't have a right to tell others not to stare at them.

5. The idea that if someone gets implants, wears a short skirt, or puts on makeup means that everyone else has license to leer at her is ridiculous. This is an oversimplified and shallow delusion. Women conform to gendered standards for thousands of reasons. Some may very well only want attention from strangers, but that doesn't mean that they have to accept everyone's attention, or that other women with implants fall under that category.

[Gonzo Joker]

2. The idea that lesbians are threatened by femininity or implants is another boring generalization about us...

Where did that come from? I don't recall anyone saying anything about that.

This is a huge part of your problem - you don't listen to what is being said, but instead get all defensive about things you imagined were said.

And as far as "not having the right to look" goes - I will look at anything I want in any public space, and if anyone doesn't like it, that is just too gd bad...

Where the hell do YOU get off telling people what they can and cannot look at???

[skullcap]

2. The idea that lesbians are threatened by femininity or implants is another boring generalization about us...

Where did that come from? I don't recall anyone saying anything about that.

Heterosexual women get breast implants, make themselves up, wear low cut shirts and short shirts, because they like sexual attention.

I know that there are a certain percentage of lesbians who hate this fact, but it is reality. I also know other lesbians who are open minded, and don't hate people just for having hetero sexual urges.

hey Gonz,
you have equivocated in the post i have quoted, but it seems to me that you are essentially saying what Kropotkitten imputes to you.

[Mike/R]

Gonzo - I read your post the same way as Kropotkitten and Skullcap did.

Kropotkitten - any preferred shorter nick?

I hope we all give each other the benefit of the doubt. I have made some stupid mistakes in my past, and I have described some of them on this thread. I think that examining and understanding these mistakes will help us avoid these mistake on our part, correct these mistakes on our friends' parts, and understand these mistakes on others' parts.

Although I can't help wonder at 'quit staring at my implants!'

[i986]

5. The idea that if someone gets implants, wears a short skirt, or puts on makeup means that everyone else has license to leer at her is ridiculous. This is an oversimplified and shallow delusion. Women conform to gendered standards for thousands of reasons. Some may very well only want attention from strangers, but that doesn't mean that they have to accept everyone's attention, or that other women with implants fall under that category.

how many women do you think are even conciously aware that they are conforming to gender standards? And why do you expect that men would be aware that the lady with the fake tits, short skirt a pound of make up and a deep necked blouse is only dressing like this as a matter conforming and not actually because she likes the attention?

and if you are looking for attention from strangers, what makes you think you can chose which strangers you get the attention of?

[Kropotkitten]

My implication is not that you or I should look away or avoid eye contact with attractive women or women with implants but that if someone doesn't want to be stared at, don't stare at her or him or whoever. Obviously no one can 'choose' who notices them on the street, but everyone has the right to tell someone that they're irritated with how they're being looked at, or with who's doing the looking.
I don't think anyone here is the anti-christ for admiring hot people, I just think that we should also respect other people's boundaries, especially because there's a difference between smiling at a cute person and looking down their shirt.

As for nicknames, anything that isn't laced with contempt is welcome, thanks for asking.

[Gonzo Joker]

Some of you are reading in the "threatened" part, which I never stated, nor implied.

In any event, it is obvious that a LOT of young women actively dress and act sexy in order to obtain sexual attention from men. Anyone who denies this is out of touch with reality.

As Kropkitty has proven, there definitely are a certain percentage of lesbians who absolutely detest this fact. Note I did not say they are threatened by it, just that they hate it.

I personally have no problem with anyone enjoying any aspect or variation of sexuality they choose. Just don't tell me I am not supposed to enjoy watching hot women flaunt their bodies, and I have no problem with you.

[Kropotkitten]

Again, it isn't that there's anything wrong with admiring hot women, I do it myself and I have no problem with men doing it, in fact, when they do it to me in a respectful or non-invasive manner I don't mind at all, even though I'm not interested. And I've had conversations with people of all kinds about how such flattery can be really lovely, as long as it doesnt erase someone's personhood [ie. an inability to recognize that the person is more than just someone hot] and as long as they are respectful and don't behave like aggressive straight boys at a frat party.

I wouldn't suggest to anyone worried about mentioning their erections [I forget who was talking about this] that there is anything to feel ashamed of for this, as long as you aren't rubbing it up against someone without asking. Again, there is nothing wrong with an erection, its a beautiful part of many people's sexuality. Just don't chase somebody with it. hehe.

The point is that there are several forms of unwritten common sense protocol in our culture and one of them is the assumption that women with implants want everyone's attention all the time. I NEVER stated that women don't ever dress for attention, I simply think that just because someone does so doesnt mean that they have no right to ask someone not to stare at their implants, or that they don't deserve the right to filter out attention which isn't welcomed. I often dress for attention, the attention of other women, and if a man expresses interest in a creepy wayI have the right to tell him to go away, and if he persists, I have the right to tell him to fuck off.

Let me be clear here too that there is a difference between leering at someone's boobs or yelling at her out of a car window and simply having sexual desire. Of course there's nothing wrong with desiring someone for being hot, its just how you go about it with strangers that counts and there are too many men who confuse being told not to behave lecherously with some kind of condemnation of sexual desire.

[Gonzo Joker]

Ah, so you are now the judge and jury of lecherous behaviour, the revolutionary avenger of oppressed women angry about men staring at their implants.

In reality, you do NOT have the right to verbally assault people with your demands that they not look at something that was put on display in a public area.

Note that I am not saying women who dress sexily deserve to be raped, or any nonsense like that. I am just pointing out the obvious - if you go into public with body parts on display, particularly surgically enhanced body parts, don't act shocked or offended when people look at them. Not a particularly difficult concept to understand....

[Kropotkitten]

well, i might be a better judge and jury than you, but then again, so would a streetlamp or a green pepper.

If someone asks you not to look at them, don't. If people don't have a right in public space to ask others not to stare at them then i might as well cheer on security cameras on every corner. After all, by doing such a provocative thing as leaving my house I surrender all rights to deflect unwanted attention.