YOU IDIOT!
You still think public school is a good thing don't you? Well let me tell you differently, the public schools are slowly killing every kid in them, stifling their creativity and individuality and making them into non-persons.
If you are a victim of this, one of the things you can do is fight back!
If you still are not sure if school is good or bad yet,
May God hit you with his purple-tipped rod.
This page is for people who realize that compulsory education and grading destroys the natural creativity so many children feel. This also is a way of keeping the poor and minorities on the bottom while keeping the rich and powerful on the top. I have been to the state level of several geography and spelling bees in the last five years or so. I actually got to the Eastern United States regional-level of the National Geography bee. Yet the public schools think I am dumb and give me Ds and Fs.
What you have to do is SMASH YOUR SCHOOL.
Now, I am not saying that you should go postal like so many other pseudo-enlightened idiots have done. That is counter-productive. I will list penalties for doing the things on this list later. Some are annoying and are unpunishable. I will also color things I have personally done in red.
 | Get a syringe (minus needle). Mix BOTH tubes of epoxy glue with a little rubbing alcohol. You know have half an hour to fill locks, door jambs, etc... |
| An alternative use for the syringe is to pretend to shoot up while the teacher is looking. |
| Call the school and leave the phone off the hook. Some phone systems will be locked up by this. |
| Protest U.$. aid to reactionary regimes abroad by defoliating plants around the school and/or dig a bomb crater on the front lawn. When ecology freaks complain, ask them where they were when the U.$. was doing the same thing to Indochina. |
| Draw something "obscene" on pull-down maps or movie screens. |
| Start an information service to get students information about teachers before enrollment day |
| Have a rousing food fight in the cafeteria |
| In the hallway between classes, conduct a massive search for a "lost" contact lens. Demand that nobody pass, because they might step on it. |
| If your school has a dress code protest it by doing something that is either not-prohibited or in a gray-area of the code. |
| Free all the animals in the biology classroom. |
| Write a 'consumer report' on the education you have been consuming and distribute it to parents. |
| Have students go to the office in droves to have a rumor (preferably started by you) confirmed or denied |
| Perform citizen's arrests of administrators for destroying the minds of youth and then telephone the police to take the criminals into custody. |
| Rip off towels from the gym, paper from the copier room, stamps from the mail room, layout equipment from the art room, tools from the wood shop and light bulbs from their sockets. Then give this material to a local volunteer group. |
| Turn on and light all the gas jets in the science labs while the teacher isn't looking. |
| Have giant sneezing epidemics in class or study hall. |
| Rub lipstick, Vaseline, or shit onto the doorknobs of the schools administration offices. |
| Swallow some snake bite antidote and walk into the principals office. If you got the harmless king you will throw up like mad, If you got the lethal kind you will die and I will tell the world the principal murdered you. |
| Remove things from teachers mailboxes. Reprint and post anything that is confidential or interesting. |
| Make a super stink bomb out of hydrogen sulfide and put it somewhere in the ventilation system. |
| If your school has a drop ceiling, put a dead fish(or anything else stinky) up there. |
| Give your school library a subscription to a good underground newspaper and demand it be made available to students. |
| Print up false notices in the same format the school uses and distribute them to teachers frequently. They will never know what to believe. |
| Steal and forge your own passes, forms, etc..... |
| Do some revolutionary wall painting. All you need is a can of spray paint(black?) plus a little imagination and courage. |
| Are certain teachers or administrators misbehaving? Make up a rat sheet with their name and phone number. Then have everybody order them things(pizza, prostitutes, THINK BIG!). |
| Get a copy of the film to be shown at the next school assembly. Splice in some clips form your own movie and then replace the movie. With a dose of imagination this will become an unforgettable day. |
| Clog drains with clay. |
| Teachers often leave gradebooks, forms, and attendance sheets unguarded. Take every opportunity to help your self. |
| Carry and flourish oregano rolled in papers or aspirin with the name filed off. |
| Put calcium carbide in a gelcap and flush down a toilet. This will create a large amount of highly flammable gas as soon as the capsule dissolves. |
| Ride a bike down the hall during "rush" hour. |
| Save your book reports and essays and give them to other students next year. |
| Play with light and sound controls during assemblies |
| Take a regular(2 prong) plug and a switch. Connect the switch to the plug and turn the switch on. Congratulations, you blew a fuse. Then disconnect. You can do this without the switch and just connect the 2 wires, but that sometimes creates an arc and welds the plug in. |
| Put up notices inviting the entire school to a party for a teacher who isn't leaving. |
| Read the school budget and reprint a list of the stupid expenditures. |
| Take down the american flag and replace it with one of your own. |
| Persuade the graduating class to use their gift monies for something useful and subversive. |
| Have students evaluate teachers. Compile the results and publicize them(PTA, parents, school system, newspaper, government oversight committee, etc....) |
| Use your "free choice" book reports to read revolutionary literature and further the classes education(you might not have to present all the sudden). |
| Have a student lie on the ground. When a teacher comes mumble "it must have been the LSD" or "Fred dared him". |
| Toss handfuls of Bb's of the floor, or throw them off the balcony. |
| Steal cafeteria trays and burn large holes in them. Then return and say the that the food did it. |
| Leave phony letters of resignation on the principal's desk. |
| Get a small group of students to always carry screwdrivers and slowly dismantle the school. |
| Piss in your pants while giving an oral report. |
| Splice into the intercom system. You now have your own guerilla radio station. |
| Drop large bottles of ether in science class |
| Hang someone. Put a hangman's noose in a tree and hang a dummy from it. |
| Newspaper stands in buildings are usually left unguarded. Remove papers and substitute rotten food or dirty books. |
| Put a magnet near an electrical connection in an intercom speaker. This will short out the system. |
| Take a door off its hinges, but leave it standing there so when someone opens it it falls. |